Matchmaking Experiment at Shambhala 2026

We ran a matchmaking experiment at the Shambhala In Your Heart festival in Chiang Dao, February 8-13, 2026.

Goal: Make as many compatible romantic or potential friendship connections as possible between participants.

Process

We used the service offered by Burning Man's camp Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet as the basis to design our process. At Burning Man, the camp provides a cafe where participants are interviewed, provide their information, and come back the next day to receive their match. Each step of the process takes time, and the cafe provides a nice space for people who are in the same mindset to organically meet each other. Upon receiving their match, each participant gets the physical form that was filled out by someone else. It is then their mission (if they desire) to find the person. At Burning Man, everyone's camp has an address, so if you know someone's address it is relatively easy to find them.

At Shambhala, people camp in clustered areas and might be difficult to find. With only a couple days left at the festival, we decided to make all the matches at once and reveal them at a designated location, to maximize the chances of participants meeting each other. The offering was briefly explained here on a webpage accessible via a QR code posted on signage:

Timeline

Day 1: Create Form

About six of us sat by the river and analyzed the form used by Costco. We took many of their questions, including the activities to draw yourself and get a testimonial, and created our own into a simpler format.

The form intentionally focuses on the person, and not on their desired partner, because we cannot guarantee that the type of person they want to meet participates in the activity or even exists.

A digital version of our form exists here: Shambhala Matchmaking Form although we ended up using copies of a hand-written version.

Day 2: Collect Submissions

We decided to accept submissions for one day only, because the end of the festival was coming near and we wanted to give people enough time to develop a real connection with their match.

We initially thought that 30 submissions would be enough to work with. We ended up receiving over 120 submissions, including people arriving past midnight to fill out a form at the last minute.

Each participant had their photo taken after we verified that their form had been filled out completely, and they promised to show up the next day at the dedicated time and place to receive their match.

Offering the forms at the official Shambhala Information desk legitimized the project and helped provide space for people to ask questions and fill out their forms thoughtfully. Many people coming by throughout the day for other reasons saw the activity, were intrigued, and then decided to participate themselves on the spot. The Shambhala staff helped explain the process, collect forms, and take photos.

Day 3, Morning: Make Matches

On the morning of the final day, six of us gathered at a secret location (necessary for focus and privacy) outside the festival to make the matches. The final goal was to put all the profiles in a chosen order. When a person claimed their match, we would give them the profile of the next person (the profile behind theirs) in that order. So each person would be searching for someone, and also be searched for by someone else (the profile in front of theirs).

We decided to first focus on creating primary matches between profiles, and then later arrange the matched profiles such that their order would result in secondary matches.

We started by separating the profiles into piles based on some objective criteria, and evaluating the sizes of those piles. Objective criteria included gender, sexual orientation, age, height, and how much effort was put into the profile. We first tried to make matches between people that were at extreme ends of the criteria, and thus potentially harder to match romantically. As we made matches, we set the pairs of profiles aside. We continued to divide and conquer the profiles based on these criteria.

Bi men and women were useful as wildcards, because they could be romantically matched with either gender. At the end we had more straight men than any other category, and so had to match the remaining profiles based on friendship potential.

To decide whether a match made sense, after checking the objective criteria, we had to assess whether two people felt like they would get along. Subjective criteria included all the rest of the profile questions, the drawing, real photo, testimonial, and anything any of us might know about the participants. Here we also looked more closely at where they live and their plans after Shambhala. The final decision was of course based on feeling. We constantly asked each other to provide a second or third take on suggested matches.

The process was extremely focused under time pressure. Everyone contributed ideas and we adjusted our process constantly on-the-fly. We divided ourselves into two groups, checked in on each other regularly, and at one time even rearranged the groups to help each other out and maximize our efforts.

Day 3, Afternoon: Reveal

An estimated 80 people showed up to receive their match. We needed a bit more time to complete the matches, so one of us went ahead and stalled the crowd.

Three of us sat on the ground while each participant, one-by-one, came up to receive their match. We explained that even if they don't see their match, they should stick around, because someone else will be looking for them.

The reveal took quite a while, during which people mingled and made some organic connections that way, similar to the cafe offered by the Burning Man camp.

Results and Feedback

Participants overwhelmingly had nice things to say about the experiment. Everyone seemed to like the idea, and so many people thanked us for all the effort. That alone made it worth it for us.

Most of the positive feedback was about the form itself. Some people were skeptical at first, and then when they read the form, they became motivated to fill it out. Some people even said that they didn't care about the outcome - filling out the form in itself was a worthwhile exercise.

Many people thought it funny that they got matched with someone already close to them (unbeknownst to us of course), like their ex, friends, or people they had already been bonding with at Shambhala. This speaks to some success in our matchmaking process.

Everyone who helped make it happen was very excited and motivated to help facilitate new connections. It felt great to work on something meaningful during the festival.

During the reveal, when participants were told that "someone else is also looking for you," their reactions were a mix of confusion and delight.

Only two people were visibly disappointed with their match, and one person even requested a new one. Unfortunately, our process did not allow for that.

It was most satisfying to see some matches leave the reveal together, and to also see them hanging out at the festival during the remaining days. At least one match resulted in a make-out session in the parking area.

FAQ

Why not make 1:1 primary matches only?

We wanted to avoid the situation where a participant's match does not show up to the reveal, and thus they leave empty-handed. Providing two potential connections gave them a reason to stick around and mingle, and perhaps meet someone else. The residual feeling that "someone else may be out there looking for me" also adds a fun element to the activity.

Why not let participants choose their own match?

The magic of matchmaking is that when a third party sets you up with someone specifically, you are more likely to give them a chance.

Letting participants choose for themselves would be more akin to providing a dating app service. Some people would get all the attention, perhaps turning into a popularity contest. We wanted everyone to feel like everyone received something special in return for the effort they put in.

Additionally, participants consented to their information being only shared with one other person, and not be put on display for everyone to see.

What system was used to manage the profiles while making and revealing matches?

This process was a bit complex and devised last-minute:

• Arrange all profiles in alphabetical order and number them
• Create a "person index" on a separate piece of paper with each person's name and number
• Arrange all the profiles into their matched order (the matchmaking process)
• Create a "match index" on a separate piece of paper with each number in order
• Arrange all the profiles back in numbered alphabetical order

When a person came to retrieve their match:

• Ask their name, and use the "person index" to look up their number
• Find their number in the "match index"
• Look for the number after theirs in the "match index" (this is the profile meant for them to receive)
• Find that profile in the stack (previously ordered by number alphabetically) and give it to them

Reflections

We did not have enough time to make nearly as good secondary matches as we would have liked. During the reveal process, half of the participants were given a profile for their secondary match, which usually meant that "their match" didn't feel right, even though they were being searched by someone who was likely (in our minds) to be a good match.

We lost some of the profiles for a couple hours. It was very disheartening to tell some people that we didn't have anything for them.

The reveal process was chaotic. We were lucky that Shaun had a microphone and speaker, and the ability to hold everyone's attention while they waited for us to arrive. This also gave him the opportunity to help participants ease into the right headspace, by providing the following advice:

• Even if you don’t find your perfect match/love - look around you, all these people here have come looking to meet someone. Why not say hello to them now or find them later?
• Just because someone matches you doesn’t mean they are interested in you. Perhaps they are only open to a friendly conversation.
• We received more profile submissions than there are people here - some people left the festival, changed their mind, or just got busy. If you never find your person or someone doesn’t find you - that’s just unfortunate luck and has no reflection on you as a person.
• Everyone has a primary match, with the secondary match sometimes being someone very different. If your match doesn’t feel right, it could be that’s the secondary match (or we just couldn’t find you the right match this time).
• Because of how many people we got with various genders, sexualities, desires, interests, etc… not everyone could be matched with someone we felt was a great fit - that’s just the nature of having so many unique people and not having the perfect balance in every category. Even if you don’t get matched with someone you’re attracted to - still for sure have a chat as you may have got yourself a new friend (or a new story!)
• If you’re stuck for ideas on what to do with your match after you meet… why not

• Grab an ice cream together
• Ask each other about your favourite childhood memories
• Find at least three things you both have in common

• If you have any feedback, especially any success stories - please tell us! It really helps us for next time and also helps us know what we are trying to do matters <3

Ideas for the Future

In the future, with more resources, we should most likely adopt Burning Man's Camp Costco process the best we can. Instead of making all the matches at once, participants are asked to come back the following day to receive a match. The Camp Costco process has been refined over decades, has an impressive track record of making connections, and includes the following advantages:

• Avoid one big reveal moment of pressure and waiting
• Make it fun for people to find each other at the festival
• Make matches on the fly for a single person at a time, which is a more fun process for the matchmakers and less stressful
• Ensure that every person receives a profile that they feel at least somewhat connected with
• Don't bother wasting time making matches for people who don't return

This would require a dedicated space, including a comfortable waiting area and private area for the matchmaking process.

We absolutely need to keep better track of the profiles, so we don't lose them. We could have a receipt or digital record. Thinking through the whole process beforehand, and having dedicated space for it all, will surely help.

To keep track of success stories, we could encourage matching pairs that hit it off to come to a special ceremony, or to collect a gift like matching bracelets. For extra drama, we could have a Shambhala wedding event where everyone is invited, including pre-made speeches and marriage certificates.

We should create more decor for our dedicated space - a match-making table with hearts, photo frames, etc. We could show off a gallery of successful matches and testimonials. The space could even be advertised as a match-making space within itself - for example sitting under a heart means you are open to chatting with someone.

Is it better to give someone a match that doesn't feel right, or to not give them anything at all? This is still an open question. In the future our system could handle this situation by rolling over and prioritizing profiles for the next batch.

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peter@longterm.app